But do I remember
I think to myself sometimes...I remember that boy. The person he was when I first met him. A friend in the past.
But it has occurred to me...I remember him, but do I remember myself?
It's impossible to stay the same. It's impossible not to change. All we can do is make improvements.
It doesn't help to still feel the way I felt then. I'm different, but somehow my insides are still the same in some areas. I guess it's really true what they say, under construction.
Somethings I still feel so deeply about and I'm not really sure why I ever did. Some people are just drawn to each other, magnetically? I don't know how it works, I don't know if that's God's glue. But I've felt it with only a couple people in life. My brother and a friend from the past. I don't think they're necessarily drawn to me, obviously, but I have always had an affinity for them in my heart. It doesn't wane with time. I miss them...(and to be so very cliche)...like the dessert misses the rain.
I was never particularly close to my brother or my friend. But I wanted to be. I always wanted to be around them. I wanted their love and attention.
I think about this alot and can never figure out why my whole life this has been so important to me. It's one of those hopeless avenues. I can't make my childhood be more than it was with relationships that it didn't have. I can't make my adolescence more than it was, with relationships that it didn't have. All I can do is try to do better, but I'm even stumped about that. I am still not sure what I did wrong back there to redeem myself now.
Do you ever find yourself in that situation?
But it has occurred to me...I remember him, but do I remember myself?
It's impossible to stay the same. It's impossible not to change. All we can do is make improvements.
It doesn't help to still feel the way I felt then. I'm different, but somehow my insides are still the same in some areas. I guess it's really true what they say, under construction.
Somethings I still feel so deeply about and I'm not really sure why I ever did. Some people are just drawn to each other, magnetically? I don't know how it works, I don't know if that's God's glue. But I've felt it with only a couple people in life. My brother and a friend from the past. I don't think they're necessarily drawn to me, obviously, but I have always had an affinity for them in my heart. It doesn't wane with time. I miss them...(and to be so very cliche)...like the dessert misses the rain.
I was never particularly close to my brother or my friend. But I wanted to be. I always wanted to be around them. I wanted their love and attention.
I think about this alot and can never figure out why my whole life this has been so important to me. It's one of those hopeless avenues. I can't make my childhood be more than it was with relationships that it didn't have. I can't make my adolescence more than it was, with relationships that it didn't have. All I can do is try to do better, but I'm even stumped about that. I am still not sure what I did wrong back there to redeem myself now.
Do you ever find yourself in that situation?
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