the judgement
You know that look of disapproval. You've seen it hundreds of times. But for some reason it never ceases to be annoying. More annoying now that you're an adult and you should be able to make decisions without getting looks of judgement from people who would prefer to make different decisions than you.
Have you noticed that these looks are commonly made by people who know little to nothing about you? I have. It seems just a little tyrannical to me, to get looks of disapproval about a decision you're currently making from the view of someone who doesn't even have enough knowledge about the situation to judge it, or you.
On another subject.
My priorities are ranked as such.
1. My children
2. Others
3. Myself
I would rather buy clothing for my children than for myself. Mostly because I am unhappy with myself and nothing looks good on me right now, it won't be for always, but for now.
I would rather buy a gift for someone else. It's my nature. It probably won't ever change because I am by nature generous.
I am my last priority. Therefore the balance is disrupted sometimes and I can appear very unhappy, mostly because I am. Because if I'm not at the top of my list, who is going to take care of me? Yeh, yeah, God. But God doesn't make sure that I have facial cleansers, or a gym membership, or eat healthy, or take the time out for my own sanity. He gave me a brain for all of those things. :) It's my job to make sure I am healthy mentally and physically so that I can keep 1. and 2. a priority.
Why is it so hard to not feel selfish when you do something for yourself? I judge myself very harshly...It's unfair.
I miss...my music. I miss my piano alone time. I miss writing/analyzing myself. I miss silence. I miss exercise and sweat and sore muslces. I miss looking in the mirror and liking myself. I miss feeling "me".
I will not miss the bags under my eyes. The extra 40 lbs marriage and childbirth have helped me accumulate. The unhappiness of handing over my soul to pay my bills. Gallbladder pain. The fat face.
#1 Download itunes. #2 Buy running shoes. #3 Get a gym membership #4 dedicate time to myself
Have you noticed that these looks are commonly made by people who know little to nothing about you? I have. It seems just a little tyrannical to me, to get looks of disapproval about a decision you're currently making from the view of someone who doesn't even have enough knowledge about the situation to judge it, or you.
On another subject.
My priorities are ranked as such.
1. My children
2. Others
3. Myself
I would rather buy clothing for my children than for myself. Mostly because I am unhappy with myself and nothing looks good on me right now, it won't be for always, but for now.
I would rather buy a gift for someone else. It's my nature. It probably won't ever change because I am by nature generous.
I am my last priority. Therefore the balance is disrupted sometimes and I can appear very unhappy, mostly because I am. Because if I'm not at the top of my list, who is going to take care of me? Yeh, yeah, God. But God doesn't make sure that I have facial cleansers, or a gym membership, or eat healthy, or take the time out for my own sanity. He gave me a brain for all of those things. :) It's my job to make sure I am healthy mentally and physically so that I can keep 1. and 2. a priority.
Why is it so hard to not feel selfish when you do something for yourself? I judge myself very harshly...It's unfair.
I miss...my music. I miss my piano alone time. I miss writing/analyzing myself. I miss silence. I miss exercise and sweat and sore muslces. I miss looking in the mirror and liking myself. I miss feeling "me".
I will not miss the bags under my eyes. The extra 40 lbs marriage and childbirth have helped me accumulate. The unhappiness of handing over my soul to pay my bills. Gallbladder pain. The fat face.
#1 Download itunes. #2 Buy running shoes. #3 Get a gym membership #4 dedicate time to myself
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