Not At All

I think it's interesting how much our lives are changed by what others expect of us and how much we usually resent the expectations people put on us to be a certain person, or a certain way. Because when I think about it I realize how much my life has been impacted by the expectations I have put on other people. Like spending years with this "what if" hanging around my neck, like the one that got away kind of thing. You always have that one thing you regret, mine was not speaking up when I had the opportunity to tell somebody how I felt. Granted this was years ago, mind you, but it still follows you like a bad habit.

But the more I reflect on it, the more I realize I was making good judgement. One of the handy things of having a facebook page is being able to "spy" on people that were apart of your life at one point. I did this and realized something significant, that person wasn't anywhere near the person I thought he was and nowhere near the man I would have required him to be to of been happy with him. So. It wasn't a case of the one that got away it was a case of good judgement on my part to keep my mouth shut and avoid catastrophe.

I'm not foolish enough, like some women, to believe that a person would have been different had I been in their life. People choose a path and barring a huge work of God, they stick on it because it was their decision. Bad decisions aren't usually bad because you made a quick judgement, usually they're just because you're foolish, lazy, or have a huge character flaw.

I have made bad decisions and I know I haven't met my potential in the least, but I have made really good decisions as well. I've taken a bad decision and worked my hardest to right it everyday since, knowing that it wasn't a trail of bad decisions. I wasn't embodied by what I did, I didn't make it the whole of who I am.

I'm comforted by the fact that although sometimes I may not always feel like I made the decision to marry the person I did under the best circumstances, I still made a very good choice for myself. The reason I was attracted to him in the first place was a good foundation. I can sniff potential a mile away and although Mr. Could of Been had potential, he had no intentions on following through; my MR. Right did, and has.

So, thank you Facebook for this insight into a life I otherwise probably wouldn't have had and a cleared conscience knowing some people choose to be dysfunctional and turn away from God and their life reflects their folly in that one foundational choice.