Flakes, not frosted
I was just sitting here thinking to myself... Do we know when we're fake? I mean, do fake people know they're fake? I mean, I'm sure in the moment they know when they're bs'ing a behavior... but as a general rule, do most flakey people know that that is how they are perceived?
Everyone can be flakey at one moment or the next, but what I'm referring to is people who as a general rule: do not follow through with the things they say, treat you one way in one circumstance and then treat you differently in person, never show up when they make plans to, and basically play sides depending on who is buying they're bs for the moment. That is my definition of a flake. It's a consistant thing, not just a once in a while thing.
That's also the difference between a liar and the regular person who lies occasionally.
That's another tricky question, does everyone lie? Lies of omission, white lies, lies out of ignorance. Are they all equal?
But still. Flakes. They are the worst kind of people because I always wonder, do they have a real face? Do they know who they are? Or have they been hiding so long they've forgotten how to be sincere and geniune?
Flaking is inexcuseable. It's one thing I cannot just have compassion for the person in a rough circumstance, because they choose to say one thing and do another. It's a choice, everytime.
People are different depending on who they're around. That is not being a flake. That's reacting to the comfort zone. If you're around people you're more comfortable around, you're going to be somebody different than when you're someone who is constantly causing conflict for you and basically terrorizes you behind your back. OBVIOUSLY. This is like basic human nature 101. So, if people are different around you depending on who else is around, maybe it's because of you....not them? You have to think of these things. You can't always blame other people.
I learned this lesson a long time ago. There are people who are reactors and there are people who are actors. Some people's personalities and confidence are so strong that they can be who they are without apologies no matter who they're around, other people for many reasons are reactors. They take signals from other people on who to be, to be acceptable to them.
But I will say it's hard to react to a person who is anti-social and has done everything in their power to not be involved, so if you're in a situation with a person like that and you're a reactor personality...what do you have to react to? So, you have two seemingly anti-social people lol. How do these people have a relationship? Neither can be honest to the other person about who they are, so they never relate. It's a catch 22.
Just another situation where communication would be the most valuable tool. Without it you can destroy something that never existed, because you're not giving an opportunity.
Introverts are kind of annoying. I can be one so I know that sometimes people think I'm not interested in being involved, which isn't always the case. Sometimes I'm trying to get a handle on the people. Sometimes I just don't like the people and really don't want to get involved lol. It's really hard to read, therefore, annoying. But the one thing I can tell you, when I am comfortable or feel welcomed I will act. I am not a reactor. But sometimes I may seem like one because I choose to be quiet until I get a handle. It's not because I'm afraid.
I'm a pretty confident person. I know who I am and I'm ok with that person 99% of the time. :) I do not apologize for being this quiet person who can seem distant and stand-offish, mostly because my life has given me lessons that has made me comfortable this way. It's made me see that sometimes being quiet is absolutely the best weapon. And the best way to keep peace.
Because like I've said previously, sometimes people just don't want to hear what you have to say.
Everyone can be flakey at one moment or the next, but what I'm referring to is people who as a general rule: do not follow through with the things they say, treat you one way in one circumstance and then treat you differently in person, never show up when they make plans to, and basically play sides depending on who is buying they're bs for the moment. That is my definition of a flake. It's a consistant thing, not just a once in a while thing.
That's also the difference between a liar and the regular person who lies occasionally.
That's another tricky question, does everyone lie? Lies of omission, white lies, lies out of ignorance. Are they all equal?
But still. Flakes. They are the worst kind of people because I always wonder, do they have a real face? Do they know who they are? Or have they been hiding so long they've forgotten how to be sincere and geniune?
Flaking is inexcuseable. It's one thing I cannot just have compassion for the person in a rough circumstance, because they choose to say one thing and do another. It's a choice, everytime.
People are different depending on who they're around. That is not being a flake. That's reacting to the comfort zone. If you're around people you're more comfortable around, you're going to be somebody different than when you're someone who is constantly causing conflict for you and basically terrorizes you behind your back. OBVIOUSLY. This is like basic human nature 101. So, if people are different around you depending on who else is around, maybe it's because of you....not them? You have to think of these things. You can't always blame other people.
I learned this lesson a long time ago. There are people who are reactors and there are people who are actors. Some people's personalities and confidence are so strong that they can be who they are without apologies no matter who they're around, other people for many reasons are reactors. They take signals from other people on who to be, to be acceptable to them.
But I will say it's hard to react to a person who is anti-social and has done everything in their power to not be involved, so if you're in a situation with a person like that and you're a reactor personality...what do you have to react to? So, you have two seemingly anti-social people lol. How do these people have a relationship? Neither can be honest to the other person about who they are, so they never relate. It's a catch 22.
Just another situation where communication would be the most valuable tool. Without it you can destroy something that never existed, because you're not giving an opportunity.
Introverts are kind of annoying. I can be one so I know that sometimes people think I'm not interested in being involved, which isn't always the case. Sometimes I'm trying to get a handle on the people. Sometimes I just don't like the people and really don't want to get involved lol. It's really hard to read, therefore, annoying. But the one thing I can tell you, when I am comfortable or feel welcomed I will act. I am not a reactor. But sometimes I may seem like one because I choose to be quiet until I get a handle. It's not because I'm afraid.
I'm a pretty confident person. I know who I am and I'm ok with that person 99% of the time. :) I do not apologize for being this quiet person who can seem distant and stand-offish, mostly because my life has given me lessons that has made me comfortable this way. It's made me see that sometimes being quiet is absolutely the best weapon. And the best way to keep peace.
Because like I've said previously, sometimes people just don't want to hear what you have to say.
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