Wash My Mind
Now I understand the term "wash my hands of it". I think some people make drama because they like to be in the middle of it all the time. People like that exhaust me. I've had to basically limit my time with some people in all avenues of life because there's only so many times you can have the same conversations and listen to the same list of complaints.
It seems to me that if month after month you have the same complaints, you have to ask yourself how many different ways have you really tried to solve them? Have you tried anything different? If not, that is the definition of insane. Trying to the same thing hoping for different results.
I have come to the conclusion that communication is the most powerful tool we all own. The will to hold our tongues, the self control to pick your battles, the tact to say things honestly but kindly, and sometimes the courage to have those awkward conversations that may seem difficult. But whether we open our mouths or keep them closed, it's power.
I'm proud of myself for one thing. I try my best to hold my tongue when I feel the urge to tell somebody off, like someone giving me parenting advice when they could use some of their own. Or when somebody comes into a situation full of ignorance, but still tries to tell you what to do. It's times like those when the inner me feels like reaching out and grabbing them by the neck and letting them know just how obvious their ignorance is to me and everyone else and to fix your own problems before you tell others how to fix theirs. I count to ten, put a smile on and try to leave the room before disaster strikes.
I choose the power of silence more so than talking, because for 1. People almost NEVER want to hear what you have to say. 2. People almost NEVER listen to what you have to say. 3. People almost NEVER change after hearing what you have to say. So, it's really just for the benefit of you getting it out = venting. Which doesn't end up being much of a benefit because no one respects you for the simple fact that atleast you were adult enough to be honest.
Honesty is really hard to find these days. Everyone doesn't want to "hurt" someones feelings or "cause problems" or, "create a rift" in a relationship; so they have what I like to refer to as "fake" relationships. Relationships based on a nice faux reality. It looks good, but there's no depth to it. And each of the people is constantly complaining about the other, except when they're present with each other. Then it's obvious by the lack of conversation that they really have no relationship. Why pretend? Just cause you're related? Because you're "supposed" to have a relationship? If you have no intention on being honest with that person, you're just lying in one form or another.
The other tricky thing is, "When is it my place to say something?". That, is a hard one. When to cross the boundaries. I guess it's when it comes to the point where it's obvious? Somethings are never your business unless you're asked. Somethings you're involved in when you don't want to be. lol More often than not that is my predicament.
I hate being asked for advice all the time, or rather people venting to me expecting me to either just "listen and pat their backs saying they're so right and I don't blame them", or they want some form of "miracle advice that will fix their problems", OR they would like me to fix their problems for them. None of them works out well for me. 1. I will not lie to someone and tell them it's ok to just sit there and complain constantly. 2. I will give them good advice, but I get sick of giving it when no one has any intentions on FOLLOWING IT. 3. I will not fix your problems because then I'll just forever be involved in problems that I don't want to be in.
Yeah, I am ranting a bit. But it's something I've been thinking about for a few months now. Everytime I hear the beginning of one of those conversations I just feel like saying, "No". Don't make me angry by starting it, because hearing about it makes me angry and I don't want to be upset. And I have the same opinion about it that I did six months ago, so why go in circles?
I want to inspire action, but some people do not get that. Some people don't want action. Some people like drama, they create it in every relationship their in. (I come to this conclusion after observations).
How do you inspire people to take action and try to change their situations so they can start being positive? Even if it's something small and seemingly insignificant, you can make progress. You can change things, even if it's your perspective.
I say these things to myself as much as everyone else. I don't know how it changed inside of me, but I just got tired of hearing everyone act like it can't change because they can't change the other person. No, drop your expectations....learn to accept people where they are. And try your best to make a difference, even if it's just saying to yourself, "There's got to be something good to say, think, do".
SOME kind of positive to get out of the crappiest situations!? lol If I can say that out of a pretty crappy miscarriage and two totaled car accidents in one year....I'll say some other people's situations can be easily turned positive.
It seems to me that if month after month you have the same complaints, you have to ask yourself how many different ways have you really tried to solve them? Have you tried anything different? If not, that is the definition of insane. Trying to the same thing hoping for different results.
I have come to the conclusion that communication is the most powerful tool we all own. The will to hold our tongues, the self control to pick your battles, the tact to say things honestly but kindly, and sometimes the courage to have those awkward conversations that may seem difficult. But whether we open our mouths or keep them closed, it's power.
I'm proud of myself for one thing. I try my best to hold my tongue when I feel the urge to tell somebody off, like someone giving me parenting advice when they could use some of their own. Or when somebody comes into a situation full of ignorance, but still tries to tell you what to do. It's times like those when the inner me feels like reaching out and grabbing them by the neck and letting them know just how obvious their ignorance is to me and everyone else and to fix your own problems before you tell others how to fix theirs. I count to ten, put a smile on and try to leave the room before disaster strikes.
I choose the power of silence more so than talking, because for 1. People almost NEVER want to hear what you have to say. 2. People almost NEVER listen to what you have to say. 3. People almost NEVER change after hearing what you have to say. So, it's really just for the benefit of you getting it out = venting. Which doesn't end up being much of a benefit because no one respects you for the simple fact that atleast you were adult enough to be honest.
Honesty is really hard to find these days. Everyone doesn't want to "hurt" someones feelings or "cause problems" or, "create a rift" in a relationship; so they have what I like to refer to as "fake" relationships. Relationships based on a nice faux reality. It looks good, but there's no depth to it. And each of the people is constantly complaining about the other, except when they're present with each other. Then it's obvious by the lack of conversation that they really have no relationship. Why pretend? Just cause you're related? Because you're "supposed" to have a relationship? If you have no intention on being honest with that person, you're just lying in one form or another.
The other tricky thing is, "When is it my place to say something?". That, is a hard one. When to cross the boundaries. I guess it's when it comes to the point where it's obvious? Somethings are never your business unless you're asked. Somethings you're involved in when you don't want to be. lol More often than not that is my predicament.
I hate being asked for advice all the time, or rather people venting to me expecting me to either just "listen and pat their backs saying they're so right and I don't blame them", or they want some form of "miracle advice that will fix their problems", OR they would like me to fix their problems for them. None of them works out well for me. 1. I will not lie to someone and tell them it's ok to just sit there and complain constantly. 2. I will give them good advice, but I get sick of giving it when no one has any intentions on FOLLOWING IT. 3. I will not fix your problems because then I'll just forever be involved in problems that I don't want to be in.
Yeah, I am ranting a bit. But it's something I've been thinking about for a few months now. Everytime I hear the beginning of one of those conversations I just feel like saying, "No". Don't make me angry by starting it, because hearing about it makes me angry and I don't want to be upset. And I have the same opinion about it that I did six months ago, so why go in circles?
I want to inspire action, but some people do not get that. Some people don't want action. Some people like drama, they create it in every relationship their in. (I come to this conclusion after observations).
How do you inspire people to take action and try to change their situations so they can start being positive? Even if it's something small and seemingly insignificant, you can make progress. You can change things, even if it's your perspective.
I say these things to myself as much as everyone else. I don't know how it changed inside of me, but I just got tired of hearing everyone act like it can't change because they can't change the other person. No, drop your expectations....learn to accept people where they are. And try your best to make a difference, even if it's just saying to yourself, "There's got to be something good to say, think, do".
SOME kind of positive to get out of the crappiest situations!? lol If I can say that out of a pretty crappy miscarriage and two totaled car accidents in one year....I'll say some other people's situations can be easily turned positive.
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