unknown
the act of existing, but in a very sad way. i.e. the furniture.
Do you ever feel alone in a way that you know you aren't alone but for some reason people don't really get you? And shouldn't there be atleast one person in life that is sent to understand you and make you feel like you were made that way and not just hopelessly screwed up?
We all have our quirks, our passions, our crimes, our particularness. Am I not allowed to have a few things that are just holy grails? You just don't mess with certain things with me. A. It is impossible to buy me jewelry. 2 It is impossible to buy me a purse (unless you see me eyeballing a particular one, and eyeballing means almost buy it but put it back) These are just a few things.... I'm so particular on these things that even I can barely hit that nail on the head.... so don't feel bad.
But every year at christmas it's another opportunity to be discovered. And for some reason I seem to be unknown.
I get lost in translation. Somewhere in the radio waves are the things I am. Floating around in the atmosphere. So unmistakeably lost that it makes me feel very alone.
I don't care about how much someone spends on me. Or if the gift is handmade or store bought or whatever. None of that matters to me. It's being able to tell that someone knows me, that they thought about me. Really being known matters most. Being known means you're appreciated. To me.
It really hurts my feelings to feel like I don't exist. I'm not even sure how to really explain it so that it doesn't sound ridiculous.
But I've been this person my whole life. And at 27 years I feel like a ghost. I put so much thought into the gifts I give people, I observe and really think hard about their likes and dislikes and debate about what to get them all year long and so far I think I've done a fairly good job, sometimes better than others...
The gifts I give are a sign that I have really used what I know about you to show you I appreciate you. You aren't just lost in the atmosphere. Who you are is known by me.
I read alot into it, I suppose. It isn't just "christmas". It's not just gifts and it's not just money. It's time. It's thinking. It's looking. Planning. Just for the look on the face when you open it and know that someone feels appreciated.
I have gotten much more sentimental about my traditions in my old age. Defining what really matters to me. I've had alot of time to think about it. And this matters alot to me.
I feel very unknown. And it doesn't help that I'm kind of losing track of myself...
Do you ever feel alone in a way that you know you aren't alone but for some reason people don't really get you? And shouldn't there be atleast one person in life that is sent to understand you and make you feel like you were made that way and not just hopelessly screwed up?
We all have our quirks, our passions, our crimes, our particularness. Am I not allowed to have a few things that are just holy grails? You just don't mess with certain things with me. A. It is impossible to buy me jewelry. 2 It is impossible to buy me a purse (unless you see me eyeballing a particular one, and eyeballing means almost buy it but put it back) These are just a few things.... I'm so particular on these things that even I can barely hit that nail on the head.... so don't feel bad.
But every year at christmas it's another opportunity to be discovered. And for some reason I seem to be unknown.
I get lost in translation. Somewhere in the radio waves are the things I am. Floating around in the atmosphere. So unmistakeably lost that it makes me feel very alone.
I don't care about how much someone spends on me. Or if the gift is handmade or store bought or whatever. None of that matters to me. It's being able to tell that someone knows me, that they thought about me. Really being known matters most. Being known means you're appreciated. To me.
It really hurts my feelings to feel like I don't exist. I'm not even sure how to really explain it so that it doesn't sound ridiculous.
But I've been this person my whole life. And at 27 years I feel like a ghost. I put so much thought into the gifts I give people, I observe and really think hard about their likes and dislikes and debate about what to get them all year long and so far I think I've done a fairly good job, sometimes better than others...
The gifts I give are a sign that I have really used what I know about you to show you I appreciate you. You aren't just lost in the atmosphere. Who you are is known by me.
I read alot into it, I suppose. It isn't just "christmas". It's not just gifts and it's not just money. It's time. It's thinking. It's looking. Planning. Just for the look on the face when you open it and know that someone feels appreciated.
I have gotten much more sentimental about my traditions in my old age. Defining what really matters to me. I've had alot of time to think about it. And this matters alot to me.
I feel very unknown. And it doesn't help that I'm kind of losing track of myself...
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