Happy to be Forgot

You put off loving 

You need not and want not 

And defer my pleasure

As if I were happy to be forgot. 

I lie awake at night

Feeling starved for affection

and desperate to feel

Noticed, wanted, empassioned. 

Do you think this is the future I'd dreamed of? 

That this is sufficient for any feeling human? 

If a person has to beg and plead to be loved

That is no life or love at all. 

To feel ugly and unwanted

Only here out of convenience not out of preference 

Undesirable and a thing to be put up with

Not cherished. 

I want to be pursued

To be wooed

To be loved desperately

To be told beautiful words for only my ears

To share dreams and visions

To be heard and understood

To be tangled up in heat and sweat 

And to feel beautiful in your arms. 

I don't want to have to guess or hope I'm attractive 

Or assume I'm not by how you treat me.