Forever Feels Like Forever

Marking off the days

Like on a prison wall

This isn't what I expected

It to be at all

I'm counting on the end

But trying not to rush the years away 

Because children too quickly grow old

And I wish they could just stay

They're the best part of me

And the better part of you

And I only care to live 

Because they love me. 

I just wish I knew before I bargained my forever

How cruel it would be to give my kids you as a father

No one tells you how long forever is

No one tells you how many ways you can be punished. 

Just for not knowing better. 

I wish I'd known better. 

Forever feels like forever. 

I'm not allowed to exist as myself

Only in the confines of your needing

I'm just trying to survive 

Plug the holes and stop the bleeding. 

Marking off the days

As each day's cord is severed

I wish I'd known before

Forever feels like forever.