Hope Deferred

The weight I carry gets really heavy some days. And often I'm inundated with the desire to give up because the chances of being able to be free of it someday are so small it feels impossible. So sometimes I think I might as well just let stuff collapse. And see where everything lies.

When I think about the sheer size of the mountain I'm up against... I really can't see any way around it and have no idea how I'm supposed to climb it. People quit all the time that have less of a distance to go, they're stronger and have more support, too. I often sit wondering to myself because I don't know what to do. What will make the most difference? I work and work and feel sometimes that I am sewing seeds on bad soil and my family (the crows) just eat the seed. I fix something, and they break it (or something else).

I get one small thing finished, and a dozen more get added to the list. I used to be able to get clarity and know exactly what to do to get back on track. But now I look around and I'm so overwhelmed I can't even function.

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life. 20 He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.