Week 22: The End Cannot Come Fast Enough
22 weeks and counting and my body feels like it's quickly going down hill. Like, my hips don't lie, but they sure do complain a lot.
I spent the better part of the later afternoon cleaning out the lower cabinets, taking off the doors, fixing drawers, sanding cabinet doors, staining them & painting/distressing them. Which means a lot of sitting -- by the time dinner was done I went to lay down. After about 30 minutes to an hour of laying down I tried to get up because I needed to pee really badly and I could barely walk without a whole lot of pain. Like super painful to move my right leg because of my right hip. I feel like an old woman and I'm only 35. Pregnancy seriously destroys your body -- but most especially when you do not have the ability to go to the gym regularly.
And I know what everyone says about "You don't need a gym". Well, I do. Because without a place that is specifically for working out -- I am constantly reminded of everything else that I should be doing. I have 4 kids (soon to be 5), there is never a lack of things to keep me busy. I forget to eat regular meals most days! Much less anything else to do with self care. And I don't have a husband that says, "Oh, I got the kids, go ahead and do whatever you need to do". That would never happen.
So, I'm over weight. Which I was trying to remedy before I got pregnant, again. So, here I am, instead of losing weight and gaining back my body - I'm gaining weight and losing ability to move at all without being in a lot of pain.
Not to mention the fact that she's also riding low, like my other two girls, and therefore the pressure down there is crippling. Hemorrhoids are a basic element to my pregnancies now, in fact they never went away after Brennan. My intestinal track has never been the same either. And vaginal varicose veins also appear at some point, if they aren't there now, I don't know for sure because I CAN'T SEE DOWN THERE.
Just doing simple tasks has me out of breath. 15 weeks cannot go by quickly enough I'm so sick of being pregnant. I was sick of being pregnant before I knew I was pregnant. And then there's Mom guilt because I don't enjoy pregnancy! I never have. I have hated pretty much every minute of pregnancy. I love my babies though!
I am over it. In fact there's little more that I can even think about at this point because every sleep is empty, every morning is the same aches and pains and having to use the bathroom and starving first thing, no energy, just sore and exhausted pretty much all my life now. I feel like a walking zombie.
And then there's the Braxton Hicks contractions. I'm just using this as a venting tool at this point -- because no one gives a damn.
I spent the better part of the later afternoon cleaning out the lower cabinets, taking off the doors, fixing drawers, sanding cabinet doors, staining them & painting/distressing them. Which means a lot of sitting -- by the time dinner was done I went to lay down. After about 30 minutes to an hour of laying down I tried to get up because I needed to pee really badly and I could barely walk without a whole lot of pain. Like super painful to move my right leg because of my right hip. I feel like an old woman and I'm only 35. Pregnancy seriously destroys your body -- but most especially when you do not have the ability to go to the gym regularly.
And I know what everyone says about "You don't need a gym". Well, I do. Because without a place that is specifically for working out -- I am constantly reminded of everything else that I should be doing. I have 4 kids (soon to be 5), there is never a lack of things to keep me busy. I forget to eat regular meals most days! Much less anything else to do with self care. And I don't have a husband that says, "Oh, I got the kids, go ahead and do whatever you need to do". That would never happen.
So, I'm over weight. Which I was trying to remedy before I got pregnant, again. So, here I am, instead of losing weight and gaining back my body - I'm gaining weight and losing ability to move at all without being in a lot of pain.
Not to mention the fact that she's also riding low, like my other two girls, and therefore the pressure down there is crippling. Hemorrhoids are a basic element to my pregnancies now, in fact they never went away after Brennan. My intestinal track has never been the same either. And vaginal varicose veins also appear at some point, if they aren't there now, I don't know for sure because I CAN'T SEE DOWN THERE.
Just doing simple tasks has me out of breath. 15 weeks cannot go by quickly enough I'm so sick of being pregnant. I was sick of being pregnant before I knew I was pregnant. And then there's Mom guilt because I don't enjoy pregnancy! I never have. I have hated pretty much every minute of pregnancy. I love my babies though!
I am over it. In fact there's little more that I can even think about at this point because every sleep is empty, every morning is the same aches and pains and having to use the bathroom and starving first thing, no energy, just sore and exhausted pretty much all my life now. I feel like a walking zombie.
And then there's the Braxton Hicks contractions. I'm just using this as a venting tool at this point -- because no one gives a damn.
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