You Don't Know People
You don't know what other people have been through. You can listen to gossip and even make assumptions based on a few short experiences, but really there is a whole life going on inside their homes that you will never know about.
I've been married 12 years and I guarantee not a single person in my life knows enough about my marriage or myself or my husband to make an educated guess for the sheer amount of crap we've gone through.
People think social media is so revealing, but it's just another way people let you see what they want you to. There's a whole range of things they aren't saying, they aren't taking pictures of, they aren't posting live.
You.
Don't.
Know.
You can't know unless it comes straight from their own mouths.
I talk a lot, I'm pretty open about a lot. I've had a few situations in life when I felt like hey, I'll take a chance and call this person up and confide in them. Maybe they'll have good advice. And regretted it dearly. Because as trusted of a person as you think it is, it never is. The only person you can trust really is a complete stranger that you'll never see or talk to again and has no connection to anyone you know in life, especially family members.
As much as I talk, there is an ocean of information that will never leave my lips. You think you can have an opinion on the choices a person makes, the validity of the pain their feeling, or any number of tiny things in their lives. But how can you have an opinion when you know nothing about that person?
Maybe you knew them as a child -- I'm not a child anymore. In fact, people that knew me as a teenager say I'm nothing like that person. Because I'm not. Life's storms have weathered me and I have changed sometimes out of necessity, out of pain I've dealt with, out of being thrown into the depth of motherhood, and sometimes because I just didn't want to be that person that cared so much about other people anymore. Because that person wouldn't survive the life I'm living. You cannot care about other people that much and stay alive.
People are mean and selfish and they take advantage of a soft hearted person.
I have to save myself for my children. Because no one is looking out for me in life. There is no one protecting me, not a single person that's concerned about my feelings. And I guarantee no one is kept up at night over the mean things they've said about me and to me.
But I have lost a lot of sleep over plenty of hurts. Anxiety over how I'm going to raise my children so they are strong enough to do life beautifully with this small family we have and not want more. How can I be enough for them? That's what I worry about now.
I'm not going to lose sleep or cry anymore because once again I was the only person left out of a girls day out.
And I will not lose sleep or cry anymore because, once again as expected, you want to say my feelings are invalid.
And how would you even begin to know unless you'd lived through all the crap I've lived through the last decade? I'm not whining over a couple incidents, I'm not hurt because it happened once or twice. But when it's obvious that it's that person's character because it's become a pattern too loud to ignore... and pretty soon you have almost a decades worth of not being valuable and it begins to weigh on a persons soul. Especially when they're floundering to begin with.
You don't know what people have been through. I don't try to make assumptions about what others are going through -- but I could be there for people a lot more if I was ever invited. If someone bothered to talk to me like an adult peer -- because that's what I am now. If someone treated me as if I mattered, like my family matters. Even if you don't like my husband, so what, I probably didn't like yours either.
I've been married 12 years and I guarantee not a single person in my life knows enough about my marriage or myself or my husband to make an educated guess for the sheer amount of crap we've gone through.
People think social media is so revealing, but it's just another way people let you see what they want you to. There's a whole range of things they aren't saying, they aren't taking pictures of, they aren't posting live.
You.
Don't.
Know.
You can't know unless it comes straight from their own mouths.
I talk a lot, I'm pretty open about a lot. I've had a few situations in life when I felt like hey, I'll take a chance and call this person up and confide in them. Maybe they'll have good advice. And regretted it dearly. Because as trusted of a person as you think it is, it never is. The only person you can trust really is a complete stranger that you'll never see or talk to again and has no connection to anyone you know in life, especially family members.
As much as I talk, there is an ocean of information that will never leave my lips. You think you can have an opinion on the choices a person makes, the validity of the pain their feeling, or any number of tiny things in their lives. But how can you have an opinion when you know nothing about that person?
Maybe you knew them as a child -- I'm not a child anymore. In fact, people that knew me as a teenager say I'm nothing like that person. Because I'm not. Life's storms have weathered me and I have changed sometimes out of necessity, out of pain I've dealt with, out of being thrown into the depth of motherhood, and sometimes because I just didn't want to be that person that cared so much about other people anymore. Because that person wouldn't survive the life I'm living. You cannot care about other people that much and stay alive.
People are mean and selfish and they take advantage of a soft hearted person.
I have to save myself for my children. Because no one is looking out for me in life. There is no one protecting me, not a single person that's concerned about my feelings. And I guarantee no one is kept up at night over the mean things they've said about me and to me.
But I have lost a lot of sleep over plenty of hurts. Anxiety over how I'm going to raise my children so they are strong enough to do life beautifully with this small family we have and not want more. How can I be enough for them? That's what I worry about now.
I'm not going to lose sleep or cry anymore because once again I was the only person left out of a girls day out.
And I will not lose sleep or cry anymore because, once again as expected, you want to say my feelings are invalid.
And how would you even begin to know unless you'd lived through all the crap I've lived through the last decade? I'm not whining over a couple incidents, I'm not hurt because it happened once or twice. But when it's obvious that it's that person's character because it's become a pattern too loud to ignore... and pretty soon you have almost a decades worth of not being valuable and it begins to weigh on a persons soul. Especially when they're floundering to begin with.
You don't know what people have been through. I don't try to make assumptions about what others are going through -- but I could be there for people a lot more if I was ever invited. If someone bothered to talk to me like an adult peer -- because that's what I am now. If someone treated me as if I mattered, like my family matters. Even if you don't like my husband, so what, I probably didn't like yours either.
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