To the Jerk, You know who you are
To the jerk who claimed to me for years that he was my friend and that he loved me... Please, don't talk to me again.
I can't stand when people come in and out of your life at their petty conveniences. They tell you Don't forget that I love you and then slide in and out of your life and friendship with utmost ease. Even saying don't give up on me, I want to be in your life and then one day you try to send a quick note and they've disappeared, again.
People are broken. This is the biggest truth I have ever learned in my entire life, every single person is broken. We're all walking around carrying baggage from the last person who made us feel tiny, or worthless, or even like our whole existence is a mistake. The bad memories that we try to put away so we can live productive happy lives. The friendships and relationships that have gone sour, maybe it was our fault, maybe it wasn't. Every single person needs grace and a second chance when they screw up. I believe that wholeheartedly.
What isn't excusable is when you cut off any shred of communication from a "friend" and then a couple years later you'll pop up and be like "It's my fault, I'm sorry" and want to slip seamlessly into the same friendship. And the biggest issue in this all is I'm the bighearted person who can't help but effortlessly slip right back into something that I remember fondly and am comfortable with. There's those few individuals in our life that are that type of comfort, you're just yourself.
The years pass and I forget. I forget what a horrible friend you were, all the reasons why I avoided any kind of relationship with you... because even though I felt like we were connected and two peas in a pod, you were seriously deficient in 1. loyalty 2. honesty.
You can't move on. You keep skipping like a bad record back into old habits. Let me go. Don't tell me I deserve friends who treat me well and are there for me and then desert me over and over and over again.
You're the reason I'm screwed up! You're exactly the reason I'm screwed up. People like you. You take advantage of a good heart, a loving soul who cares so deeply for whatever reason for you. You come back and make me remember how easy it is to by myself and then once again you take it away.
No warning. Just gone.
And I may be typing in emotions right now, but this is who I am so tough crap. I truly despise people like you. I'm throwing out your cute little letters I've kept the last 16 years and all the trinkets from our friendship, because it was a JOKE.
And don't give me anymore crap about your problems. We've all got problems. We've all got issues and demons we try to shoo from our minds -- we all pray we can get some sleep and do the best we can with what we're given and the choices we make in life. We all have been used and abused and we move on. We don't all go around hurting other people just because. We all don't go around making people promises and playing with their emotions and tugging them around like a puppet just to drop out of existence, ONCE AGAIN.
I'm angry. But I'll get over it. Why? Because I have gotten over better people than you.
I can't stand when people come in and out of your life at their petty conveniences. They tell you Don't forget that I love you and then slide in and out of your life and friendship with utmost ease. Even saying don't give up on me, I want to be in your life and then one day you try to send a quick note and they've disappeared, again.
People are broken. This is the biggest truth I have ever learned in my entire life, every single person is broken. We're all walking around carrying baggage from the last person who made us feel tiny, or worthless, or even like our whole existence is a mistake. The bad memories that we try to put away so we can live productive happy lives. The friendships and relationships that have gone sour, maybe it was our fault, maybe it wasn't. Every single person needs grace and a second chance when they screw up. I believe that wholeheartedly.
What isn't excusable is when you cut off any shred of communication from a "friend" and then a couple years later you'll pop up and be like "It's my fault, I'm sorry" and want to slip seamlessly into the same friendship. And the biggest issue in this all is I'm the bighearted person who can't help but effortlessly slip right back into something that I remember fondly and am comfortable with. There's those few individuals in our life that are that type of comfort, you're just yourself.
The years pass and I forget. I forget what a horrible friend you were, all the reasons why I avoided any kind of relationship with you... because even though I felt like we were connected and two peas in a pod, you were seriously deficient in 1. loyalty 2. honesty.
You can't move on. You keep skipping like a bad record back into old habits. Let me go. Don't tell me I deserve friends who treat me well and are there for me and then desert me over and over and over again.
You're the reason I'm screwed up! You're exactly the reason I'm screwed up. People like you. You take advantage of a good heart, a loving soul who cares so deeply for whatever reason for you. You come back and make me remember how easy it is to by myself and then once again you take it away.
No warning. Just gone.
And I may be typing in emotions right now, but this is who I am so tough crap. I truly despise people like you. I'm throwing out your cute little letters I've kept the last 16 years and all the trinkets from our friendship, because it was a JOKE.
And don't give me anymore crap about your problems. We've all got problems. We've all got issues and demons we try to shoo from our minds -- we all pray we can get some sleep and do the best we can with what we're given and the choices we make in life. We all have been used and abused and we move on. We don't all go around hurting other people just because. We all don't go around making people promises and playing with their emotions and tugging them around like a puppet just to drop out of existence, ONCE AGAIN.
I'm angry. But I'll get over it. Why? Because I have gotten over better people than you.
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