Lapse of Vision
There is absolutely,{and this may be a bit melodramatic}, nothing worse than feeling like a complete failure in life. Like you're not winning at anything.
I'm more than a tiny bit OCD and believe in excellence - being excellent. The whole word excel is how I like to start every list in my head. The whole idea of just "existing" or "getting by" is almost disgusting in my mind.
I don't recall there being a scripture where God calls us to "survive". This is where I'm struggling. Where is the disconnect? I know what God wants and desires for me, but I can't seem to understand how I'm supposed to get there... In life I believe that nothing is impossible, absolutely nothing. In fact, in scripture it clearly states "With God all things are possible". This is where my excellence motto for personal structure in life.
Belief. I believe that God does not call us to a life of struggling and worry. Are we struggling because we are worried? Are we thinking the struggle begins with problems and turns into worry when it's really the other way around? We're worrying about problems and because of that we're struggling?
The mind is a truly powerful and magnificent tool we have been entrusted with. How we think - where we place our thoughts {trust} determines where we end up in life. Either mentally - or physically, or both.
I believe God will take these empty jars and fill them with oil and flour. I never ever have doubted that He would provide a way for me and my family. I know without a doubt in my mind that whatever we encounter on this road in life that He is right beside us with a plan... I just wish I knew what that plan was, I would sleep better at night.
I suppose that makes me an extreme control freak, doesn't it? I believe He will carry me - but I want to know how. lol A control freak and/or a little too curious for my own good.
Here's the thing. I know I haven't been brought into this world to just barely scrape by. I know God has brought me into this world to have me succeed - to excel - to go above and beyond - to reach the tops of mountains or if I say so ... to move mountains. He has given us this dominion.
I just need to tap into the plan and start walking in the direction I'm supposed to... now if I could only figure out what path that was. I need direction. Divine interpretation.
For some reason I don't learn {understand/comprehend}, like others do either. I learn by getting step by step instructions. I have to be able to see it in my mind to accomplish it. If I can't clearly understand the directions, I'm lost. Are you that way? Sometimes I feel like it's a learning disability, because I can hear the words coming out of your mouth - I can read them in a book - but unless they are clearly defined and I gain that comprehension. It's like looking at a puzzle and seeing the picture through the chaos.
I need clarity.
So, until then I'm just trying not to stress myself out. I'm really trying not to get into any kind of belief that where I'm at is where I'm going to stay, or that this temporary lapse of vision is making me a failure.
I'm more than a tiny bit OCD and believe in excellence - being excellent. The whole word excel is how I like to start every list in my head. The whole idea of just "existing" or "getting by" is almost disgusting in my mind.
I don't recall there being a scripture where God calls us to "survive". This is where I'm struggling. Where is the disconnect? I know what God wants and desires for me, but I can't seem to understand how I'm supposed to get there... In life I believe that nothing is impossible, absolutely nothing. In fact, in scripture it clearly states "With God all things are possible". This is where my excellence motto for personal structure in life.
Belief. I believe that God does not call us to a life of struggling and worry. Are we struggling because we are worried? Are we thinking the struggle begins with problems and turns into worry when it's really the other way around? We're worrying about problems and because of that we're struggling?
The mind is a truly powerful and magnificent tool we have been entrusted with. How we think - where we place our thoughts {trust} determines where we end up in life. Either mentally - or physically, or both.
I believe God will take these empty jars and fill them with oil and flour. I never ever have doubted that He would provide a way for me and my family. I know without a doubt in my mind that whatever we encounter on this road in life that He is right beside us with a plan... I just wish I knew what that plan was, I would sleep better at night.
I suppose that makes me an extreme control freak, doesn't it? I believe He will carry me - but I want to know how. lol A control freak and/or a little too curious for my own good.
Here's the thing. I know I haven't been brought into this world to just barely scrape by. I know God has brought me into this world to have me succeed - to excel - to go above and beyond - to reach the tops of mountains or if I say so ... to move mountains. He has given us this dominion.
I just need to tap into the plan and start walking in the direction I'm supposed to... now if I could only figure out what path that was. I need direction. Divine interpretation.
For some reason I don't learn {understand/comprehend}, like others do either. I learn by getting step by step instructions. I have to be able to see it in my mind to accomplish it. If I can't clearly understand the directions, I'm lost. Are you that way? Sometimes I feel like it's a learning disability, because I can hear the words coming out of your mouth - I can read them in a book - but unless they are clearly defined and I gain that comprehension. It's like looking at a puzzle and seeing the picture through the chaos.
I need clarity.
So, until then I'm just trying not to stress myself out. I'm really trying not to get into any kind of belief that where I'm at is where I'm going to stay, or that this temporary lapse of vision is making me a failure.
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