Keep Your Word

Have you ever been promised things by your parents that you still think about and kind of hold a torch for? I do. It may seem silly, but there were quite a few things through-out my life that I was promised that I kind of grew up feeling ripped off about.

Now, as a parent I understand life happens and that financially you can't always just throw caution to the wind and buy something just because you want to. But also as a parent I have come to the conclusion to not make promises I can't keep, like financial ones.

Just as an example:

• My dad made things by hand for my Mom and my two sisters; two jewelry boxes and a baby crib that rocked. Because I never had anything made for me I was promised a tree house, which I never got. 
• When I was forced to move from Hawaii, in exchange for moving from my beautiful house and all my friends and everything I'd ever known I was promised a water bed. When we got to Missouri and were living in our double wide trailer {a huge step down from our gorgeous houses in Hawaii, especially considering I was now living in the middle of bugs and wild animals in a trailer in the woods} I was told that I couldn't have the water bed I was promised because the flooring wasn't strong enough to hold that kind of weight. 
• Next to one of the houses on our property in Missouri there was a sort of tree house already in existence. Since I never got my tree house and never got my water bed, I was promised that my Dad would help me turn it into a studio apartment; if I did all the work of stripping it bare and cleaning it. It took me many hours of work and probably a few years off of my back, but I eventually stripped everything out of there and completely cleaned it. I never got my studio apartment. 

You can see it's a pattern. I'm not saying my parents are mean, or didn't provide for me or that I ever wanted for things like clothes or food, {although to avoid hearing complaining about the money I started working at the ripe old age of 12 at a daycare and babysitting to afford my own clothes, shoes, etc.}. I was taken care of. 

No parent is perfect, everyone looks back and wishes they had done something's better while raising their children. This, however, is my huge stumbling block as a child growing into an adult. Having promises made that never seemed to become reality, it made me feel as though I was not a priority. 

Yes, I realize no one needs a tree house, or a water bed, or a studio apartment. Those are all frivolous and there is no way to make everything equal for all siblings. But keep your word whatever you do or your children will eventually begin to feel like your word means nothing. 

Not just in promising toys or other items to your kids, but even when you're threatening them for a punishment lol...keep your word. Don't be ridiculous, be fair, but don't make empty promises or threats. I'm pretty sure you want your children to take you seriously. 

I think these things and many others, gave me the I'll do it myself mentality. I can't wait around for others to do things for me, or help me. I'll just figure it out on my own. In fact, 99% of the time I don't want your help anymore because that means I'll owe you something, or someone will go around telling me that I'm a burden. 

I don't want my kids growing up feeling like they don't want to ask me for help if they need it. I don't want them growing up feeling like they have to do everything in life on their own; yes, I want them to be independent and to know how to do things on their own. 

I don't want my kids to grow up feeling like they have to make an advanced appointment with me to ever get my help.

In any case, my point being here is that I want my kids to know they can rely on me if I say we're going to do something, we're going to do it.