Conversational & Controversial
Conversations. Are they really so hard to have? I can literally talk to a rock for a half hour and have a two sided conversation quite comfortably. I suppose there's a special kind of lunatic that just likes to ponder that much about everything.
I quite seriously could have an opinion about anything, just ask. I might have absolutely no clue about what we're talking about, but I will quickly have an opinion. lol Or try to form one.
I do come from my father, the man who absolutely talks to anyone and everyone about everything under God's green earth. I'm not quite as bold as him; example: He walks up to a complete stranger in a line and just starts talking as if he had already been having a conversation with this person previously and was in the middle of a thought. But at least he includes people, no matter how confused they are about how the conversation started.
I love conversations. I love talking about serious issues and hearing a different perspective, sometimes I like to tell my perspective. I guess I consider it a type of honing a skill, practice makes perfect for perfecting an argument. Perhaps I missed my calling as a lawyer? Or a politician.
Probably not a politician because I am quite sure anyone who has ever talked to me knows how positive I am. I am positive what I believe in, why I believe in it and all the details in between. And I'm quite comfortable with not agreeing with you and even you not agreeing with me, I won't apologize.
I found it funny one time a boss of mine had the audacity to call me arrogant because I thought I was right. Shouldn't we believe our beliefs are right? Otherwise, what's the point? I certainly do not believe my knowledge is all encompassing and that I have nothing to learn from others. I observe enough to know exactly what I want to learn from whom. Maybe you don't know that there is something about you I admire, but I assure you, there is. And I'm studying you to try to figure out your secrets. I'm analyzing you. I'm breaking it down piece by piece and trying to create a plan. Sometimes I know this is just not the person I am and probably never will be, so I'll just admire it.
Kind of like a diamond ring behind glass. It exists, it's beautiful, but it isn't within your price range. lol So, you just window shop.
But truly. There is this part of me that is quite controversial and usually it comes out in my conversation. I can see it in others facial expressions, awkward, not knowing how to answer back? So, I give them an out.
I don't think this will come as a surprise to anyone who has spent any true time with me to know I am not a people person. I prefer to be alone. I am a grown up, I don't need a bff. In fact, those few adults that I know that refer to people as their "bffs" I consider childish. Unless it's their spouse. My whole life I saw that terminology serve to hurt and exclude people from your circle. Unless you want just your one friend, maybe you shouldn't rank them? This is a rabbit trail.
Anyway! I prefer to be alone, but I do occasionally long for those long deep conversations that I've had a hand full of times with a hand full of people who were intellectuals. Who pondered about things like I do. Life. Love. Relationships. What's wrong with themselves? lol God. I know why people crowded around people like Jesus, because he was an intellectual. He brought sense to life in a few small words he brought depth to humanity. It isn't just waking up and working and going to sleep, you have a purpose and a higher calling...and it is your job to listen, to ask questions, to have those deep conversations even with God to figure it out.
It's hard to do when you're surrounded by people who only talk about the weather. I digress.
I quite seriously could have an opinion about anything, just ask. I might have absolutely no clue about what we're talking about, but I will quickly have an opinion. lol Or try to form one.
I do come from my father, the man who absolutely talks to anyone and everyone about everything under God's green earth. I'm not quite as bold as him; example: He walks up to a complete stranger in a line and just starts talking as if he had already been having a conversation with this person previously and was in the middle of a thought. But at least he includes people, no matter how confused they are about how the conversation started.
I love conversations. I love talking about serious issues and hearing a different perspective, sometimes I like to tell my perspective. I guess I consider it a type of honing a skill, practice makes perfect for perfecting an argument. Perhaps I missed my calling as a lawyer? Or a politician.
Probably not a politician because I am quite sure anyone who has ever talked to me knows how positive I am. I am positive what I believe in, why I believe in it and all the details in between. And I'm quite comfortable with not agreeing with you and even you not agreeing with me, I won't apologize.
I found it funny one time a boss of mine had the audacity to call me arrogant because I thought I was right. Shouldn't we believe our beliefs are right? Otherwise, what's the point? I certainly do not believe my knowledge is all encompassing and that I have nothing to learn from others. I observe enough to know exactly what I want to learn from whom. Maybe you don't know that there is something about you I admire, but I assure you, there is. And I'm studying you to try to figure out your secrets. I'm analyzing you. I'm breaking it down piece by piece and trying to create a plan. Sometimes I know this is just not the person I am and probably never will be, so I'll just admire it.
Kind of like a diamond ring behind glass. It exists, it's beautiful, but it isn't within your price range. lol So, you just window shop.
But truly. There is this part of me that is quite controversial and usually it comes out in my conversation. I can see it in others facial expressions, awkward, not knowing how to answer back? So, I give them an out.
I don't think this will come as a surprise to anyone who has spent any true time with me to know I am not a people person. I prefer to be alone. I am a grown up, I don't need a bff. In fact, those few adults that I know that refer to people as their "bffs" I consider childish. Unless it's their spouse. My whole life I saw that terminology serve to hurt and exclude people from your circle. Unless you want just your one friend, maybe you shouldn't rank them? This is a rabbit trail.
Anyway! I prefer to be alone, but I do occasionally long for those long deep conversations that I've had a hand full of times with a hand full of people who were intellectuals. Who pondered about things like I do. Life. Love. Relationships. What's wrong with themselves? lol God. I know why people crowded around people like Jesus, because he was an intellectual. He brought sense to life in a few small words he brought depth to humanity. It isn't just waking up and working and going to sleep, you have a purpose and a higher calling...and it is your job to listen, to ask questions, to have those deep conversations even with God to figure it out.
It's hard to do when you're surrounded by people who only talk about the weather. I digress.
Comments