Strong Soul
The thing about being strong is it comes with conditions, it comes with side effects and it definitely has it's share of cons. Everyone sees the rock solid exterior what do you think their first instinct is to do? Hang on it. Jump up and down and test their theories. Is it truly as strong as it appears? Maybe this isn't in their thought process, but it certainly ends up being the reality.
And it's lonely. Because in order to be strong you have to distance yourself from a lot. And definitely certain people.
There are what I like to call soul suckers. They will literally suck the soul right out of you. Here is one example from the urban dictionary:
At a point it got so bad that I was literally without a store, there was no pool of life left in me. I had been drained dry and felt like I was absolutely empty. Do you know what it feels like to feel like you don't exist? Less than nothing. It's more than just feeling tired, it begins to feel like everyone took the parts of you they wanted and left what was left which is usually your heart. The best part, the part that makes you you and they didn't want it. They only wanted your time, your money, your support, your ear, your car even.
Yes, I have been used for my vehicle before. It was awesome.
When I was very young I cared too much. I was passionate about everything. I fought for everything good. And do you know what I learned? Sooner or later after burning brightly like an asteroid you burn out. Something has to give! You can't care about everything and have anything left to save for yourself, for life, for ordinary functions like getting out of bed in the morning and going to work and pretending to care that somebody would like you to find this one piece out of thousands in the entire store and expect you to know exactly where it is, now.
But I digress...A strong soul is a strong soul because they've had to sacrifice things, they've had to back away, ball up, construct walls, burn bridges, plant hedges, whatever it took to make sure that the only people that come through those gates are allies. Even if it meant being lonely. Even if it means some parts of their life are empty. And definitely even if sometimes you don't recognize who you are compared to who you used to be.
I used to be warm and inviting, I made close friends quickly and easily and everyone was my friend. I see my son and how he behaves around every human being he comes in contact with and I see myself, I was bit more shy, but I still wanted everyone to be my friend. I don't care as much anymore.
Maybe it's not all because I need to be strong, but because I've learned through experiences and through observations key indicators to watch for in people. I'm very good at reading people. And I've discovered, even through my own faults, that absolutely no one is perfect even if they have good intentions they will let you down so don't hold your standards so high that no one can live up to it. And in some ways coming to those conclusions actually made life less stressful, it was kind of freeing.
Freeing to realize that it's OK to be human. Try your best. Believe in excellence, but at the end of the day forgive yourself for falling short. And forgive others, too.
So, from a strong soul...those people that seem unbreakable probably do because they've been broken too many times.
And it's lonely. Because in order to be strong you have to distance yourself from a lot. And definitely certain people.
There are what I like to call soul suckers. They will literally suck the soul right out of you. Here is one example from the urban dictionary:
Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, I have had many many many of these types of people in my life.1. soul sucker
Soul Sucker
(sōl ˈsəkər)n. a person or collective group of people who focus exclusively on personal gain, draining whatever they can either mentally, emotionally or spiritually from others, without any thought of reciprocation or giving in return. To take without giving.
At a point it got so bad that I was literally without a store, there was no pool of life left in me. I had been drained dry and felt like I was absolutely empty. Do you know what it feels like to feel like you don't exist? Less than nothing. It's more than just feeling tired, it begins to feel like everyone took the parts of you they wanted and left what was left which is usually your heart. The best part, the part that makes you you and they didn't want it. They only wanted your time, your money, your support, your ear, your car even.
Yes, I have been used for my vehicle before. It was awesome.
When I was very young I cared too much. I was passionate about everything. I fought for everything good. And do you know what I learned? Sooner or later after burning brightly like an asteroid you burn out. Something has to give! You can't care about everything and have anything left to save for yourself, for life, for ordinary functions like getting out of bed in the morning and going to work and pretending to care that somebody would like you to find this one piece out of thousands in the entire store and expect you to know exactly where it is, now.
But I digress...A strong soul is a strong soul because they've had to sacrifice things, they've had to back away, ball up, construct walls, burn bridges, plant hedges, whatever it took to make sure that the only people that come through those gates are allies. Even if it meant being lonely. Even if it means some parts of their life are empty. And definitely even if sometimes you don't recognize who you are compared to who you used to be.
I used to be warm and inviting, I made close friends quickly and easily and everyone was my friend. I see my son and how he behaves around every human being he comes in contact with and I see myself, I was bit more shy, but I still wanted everyone to be my friend. I don't care as much anymore.
Maybe it's not all because I need to be strong, but because I've learned through experiences and through observations key indicators to watch for in people. I'm very good at reading people. And I've discovered, even through my own faults, that absolutely no one is perfect even if they have good intentions they will let you down so don't hold your standards so high that no one can live up to it. And in some ways coming to those conclusions actually made life less stressful, it was kind of freeing.
Freeing to realize that it's OK to be human. Try your best. Believe in excellence, but at the end of the day forgive yourself for falling short. And forgive others, too.
So, from a strong soul...those people that seem unbreakable probably do because they've been broken too many times.
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