Helpless
Have started recognizing this feeling of helplessness. So many things I want to do and I feel so unprepared. I research, I read, I ask questions, I listen and still I come up short so often in life.
I have this house that I want to be a home, but for some reason it feels like an enemy. It feels like it's working against me. It's bigger than I have time or energy to keep up {thank you to my 2 children} and issues that need fixing {a new ant infestation}, then there's the normal everyday things like mowing the lawn, dishes, laundry...stuff that you would have anywhere you lived. But all of these things wrapped together with all of this ambition and vision I have for this house to become mine you end up with a frustrated mess.
I have so many plans and ideas and I have no idea how to accomplish any of them. I'm petrified that I'm going to screw up an otherwise functional house by trying to venture out on my own in DIY land. Silly? Here is the list of things currently that are on my mind:
1. Frame in my indoor french doors using drywall {have NO idea how to start this, must start research} to enclose my now-dining room which will then become my office. In my office I also want to board and batten the walls. All of this has to be done before I can even paint. And paint is the one thing on this entire list that I feel qualified to do myself.
2. Tear out my kitchen cabinets, redo my counter tops, paint the walls and cabinets. I'm not qualified to do any of those things either.
3. Install hardwood flooring in our living room.
4. Build an outside deck, remove the carport, build a tree-house, install a new storage building.
5. Build numerous pieces of furniture and a giant wall shelving unit in our family room.
All of these things require a certain amount of knowledge of power tools, measuring, the correct math involved in figuring dimensions and supplies, all of the supplies needed, etc.
I don't have any of this information. I know people who know this information, but I am not one of those people who pushes people into doing things for me for free. Having a Dad and brother who are experts in construction and DIY I feel like somewhere along the way I should of been instructed in a little more than I am. This is the problem with feeling like girls only do certain things, because then they grow up to be me strong-willed, have to do everything herself kind of girl that knows exactly what she wants and can't always figure out how to accomplish it and if anyone knows me I hate relying on other people to do me favors. I'd rather just do it myself.
So, what do I do? Get frustrated? Cry a little because my house is going to be a disaster until I can muster up courage and do enough research to feel qualified to wield power tools {saws, nail guns, sanders,etc}, borrow them/buy them and just get to it.
I need some courage.
I have this house that I want to be a home, but for some reason it feels like an enemy. It feels like it's working against me. It's bigger than I have time or energy to keep up {thank you to my 2 children} and issues that need fixing {a new ant infestation}, then there's the normal everyday things like mowing the lawn, dishes, laundry...stuff that you would have anywhere you lived. But all of these things wrapped together with all of this ambition and vision I have for this house to become mine you end up with a frustrated mess.
I have so many plans and ideas and I have no idea how to accomplish any of them. I'm petrified that I'm going to screw up an otherwise functional house by trying to venture out on my own in DIY land. Silly? Here is the list of things currently that are on my mind:
1. Frame in my indoor french doors using drywall {have NO idea how to start this, must start research} to enclose my now-dining room which will then become my office. In my office I also want to board and batten the walls. All of this has to be done before I can even paint. And paint is the one thing on this entire list that I feel qualified to do myself.
2. Tear out my kitchen cabinets, redo my counter tops, paint the walls and cabinets. I'm not qualified to do any of those things either.
3. Install hardwood flooring in our living room.
4. Build an outside deck, remove the carport, build a tree-house, install a new storage building.
5. Build numerous pieces of furniture and a giant wall shelving unit in our family room.
All of these things require a certain amount of knowledge of power tools, measuring, the correct math involved in figuring dimensions and supplies, all of the supplies needed, etc.
I don't have any of this information. I know people who know this information, but I am not one of those people who pushes people into doing things for me for free. Having a Dad and brother who are experts in construction and DIY I feel like somewhere along the way I should of been instructed in a little more than I am. This is the problem with feeling like girls only do certain things, because then they grow up to be me strong-willed, have to do everything herself kind of girl that knows exactly what she wants and can't always figure out how to accomplish it and if anyone knows me I hate relying on other people to do me favors. I'd rather just do it myself.
So, what do I do? Get frustrated? Cry a little because my house is going to be a disaster until I can muster up courage and do enough research to feel qualified to wield power tools {saws, nail guns, sanders,etc}, borrow them/buy them and just get to it.
I need some courage.
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