Bitter
Been doing a little couch time the last few days. It's understandable. I'm upset. I'm a little more than upset. I'm mad. I'm disappointed. I'm kind of depressed. Actually, maybe a little more than kind of. I suppose my ego is not only bruised, I feel betrayed and in so many words used.
All of my hard work. I deserve better. I deserve to be treated better for all of my hard work.
So, I sit around. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm tired.
I'm tired of not being able to rely on anything in life to just work out for once, to go according to plan, follow through . You're supposed to be able to win at something. Hard work, perserverence, and diligence is SUPPOSED to be worth something in this world.
Yes, it sucks. Great. You know, saying that doesn't make me feel even a little bit better about it. It just makes me more angry because I was probably in the 1% that actually EARNED what they had and had it taken away anyway.
So, God has different plans than I do? What's new? That seems to be my life story. I work my butt off to accomplish something and it just dissipates and the road runs off in another direction. So, I'll have more time with my children, that's awesome. I'll have more time for the fun and sun in the summer, that's wonderful. I'll be able to have time to work out, that is an answer to prayer. But...will I have the money to pay my bills? Will I even make ANY leeway on debt???? Probably not. And we were going to pay everything off this year... so much for the freedom and building a house being in sight.
Pros: Time.
Cons: Being in debt longer. Not having money to pay bills.
Back to square one. That's ok it's only been 5 years. Forgive me if I sound a bitter. It's probably because right now I feel bitter.
All of my hard work. I deserve better. I deserve to be treated better for all of my hard work.
So, I sit around. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm tired.
I'm tired of not being able to rely on anything in life to just work out for once, to go according to plan, follow through . You're supposed to be able to win at something. Hard work, perserverence, and diligence is SUPPOSED to be worth something in this world.
Yes, it sucks. Great. You know, saying that doesn't make me feel even a little bit better about it. It just makes me more angry because I was probably in the 1% that actually EARNED what they had and had it taken away anyway.
So, God has different plans than I do? What's new? That seems to be my life story. I work my butt off to accomplish something and it just dissipates and the road runs off in another direction. So, I'll have more time with my children, that's awesome. I'll have more time for the fun and sun in the summer, that's wonderful. I'll be able to have time to work out, that is an answer to prayer. But...will I have the money to pay my bills? Will I even make ANY leeway on debt???? Probably not. And we were going to pay everything off this year... so much for the freedom and building a house being in sight.
Pros: Time.
Cons: Being in debt longer. Not having money to pay bills.
Back to square one. That's ok it's only been 5 years. Forgive me if I sound a bitter. It's probably because right now I feel bitter.
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