Wild Oats
I never understood why everyone else I've ever known has felt the need to "sow wild oats". Last I heard you reap what you sow. I do not want to reap wild oats. I have a whole other theory about this saying. Your children usually try to one-up you. I don't want to reap wild oat children. I want to reap children that don't age me rapidly by making really really stupid life choices.
I wasn't tempted to sneak out as a teenager to get drunk, or to secretly date guys. Or to party. Maybe I was just a boring teenager? But I enjoyed things like, piano, poetry, writing, watching funny movies.. things I still enjoy. I guess I'm docile.
I just have no desire, even now being closer to 30 than not. I don't feel like I missed anything by NOT doing what 99% of all of my friends have ever done. In fact it might be 100%. I wasn't interested in being cool, although I did desperately have that desire to fit in...somehwere, don't we all? I didn't want it at the expense of my beliefs and being true to myself. Because I AM my beliefs.
Aren't you?
Of course there's the possibility that I was scared off of it by the constant droning in my head from my mother about evil and the devil and going to hell. lol So, maybe some of the time I felt like I was manipulated into doing what my Mother thought what a good christian girl ought to do.
But the point is that I sometimes wonder who I would have been, where I would be now had I had a taste for the colorful...alluring...siren song of the "wild oat" life. It seems that you can't just make one decision in that direction though, that many of that type usually follow. A whole life of bad decisions, instead of the occasional stupid one that take a while to recover from.
If you knew your lifestyle was causing you years of horrible painful retribution from life, would you still do it?
I find comfort in the song lyrics from Switchfoot...
I wasn't tempted to sneak out as a teenager to get drunk, or to secretly date guys. Or to party. Maybe I was just a boring teenager? But I enjoyed things like, piano, poetry, writing, watching funny movies.. things I still enjoy. I guess I'm docile.
I just have no desire, even now being closer to 30 than not. I don't feel like I missed anything by NOT doing what 99% of all of my friends have ever done. In fact it might be 100%. I wasn't interested in being cool, although I did desperately have that desire to fit in...somehwere, don't we all? I didn't want it at the expense of my beliefs and being true to myself. Because I AM my beliefs.
Aren't you?
Of course there's the possibility that I was scared off of it by the constant droning in my head from my mother about evil and the devil and going to hell. lol So, maybe some of the time I felt like I was manipulated into doing what my Mother thought what a good christian girl ought to do.
But the point is that I sometimes wonder who I would have been, where I would be now had I had a taste for the colorful...alluring...siren song of the "wild oat" life. It seems that you can't just make one decision in that direction though, that many of that type usually follow. A whole life of bad decisions, instead of the occasional stupid one that take a while to recover from.
If you knew your lifestyle was causing you years of horrible painful retribution from life, would you still do it?
I find comfort in the song lyrics from Switchfoot...
"Beautiful Letdown"
It was a beautiful let down
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful let down
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do
In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
Until I found out
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But I don't belong
It's ok if my oats aren't wild and seem mundane to others. I don't need to be distracted from my life. Because life moves too quickly to be distracted at the wheel for even a second.
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