Little Secret

You know it's kind of hard to keep a secret. In general. Although I must admit that some are easier than others.

It's kind of crappy when you're going through something and you can't really talk about it with anyone. Not that anyone would want to talk about it with you, but still, you don't have the option.

Sometimes it's a good thing to stick to a decision you made, when you made it for a good reason. Or did you?

I always feel like I go through things alone anyways, so I guess it wouldn't matter.

It's been so long since I had one of those friends that I felt close enough to just go over to their house and hang out. Been a long time, not since hawaii really. Here you always have to make "plans" to do stuff, I guess that's part of growing up.  I mean, I know it's an entirely different culture than hawaii too. People don't just "stop by" here, because it's considered rude. Which having a dirty house, I'm kind of grateful for recently lol. I don't know anyone well enough for them to just stop by anyways. I guess it's just a really convenient way of being closed off. Plus, no expectations. I think I just really got tired of being expected of all the time. People really do have such high expectations. Or maybe it's just me putting that on other people.

I just wouldn't know what to do in a group of my peers. I feel awkward in groups of women. I always feel self conscious and out of place. I guess I'm never sure of what role to take, how to live up to their...yep... expectations. I suppose you could just sum me up by saying, I'm a people pleaser.

But yet, this has nothing to do with secrets. Maybe I changed the subject on purpose. Wouldn't want to give away any clues, after all ;)

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