What a Wreck!
Well.
Let's just say that life comes at you fast. Curveballs and all that music. One minute you're talking about a phone conversation you just had about your Dad and the next you're tumbling uncontrollably down a ravine. And then you can't move your arm and your child starts crying from the back seat.
Too fast to even react.
But I didn't panic. For some reason I don't panic. I am really good at bad situations, I don't know why. I am usually very calm and collected, I think straight. I guess the term would be grace under pressure. :)
When I saw everyone was ok, I breathed in and I breathed out and then took the next step.
And oddly, I'm alright with it. It was a crappy draw, but I really believe that it's going to be something really positive for us. I know that might sound weird, but I've been stressing out this whole year ever since the gallbladder incident about bills. I do not like barely scraping by. I do not like not having a plan b.
Our plan has been to pay off Eric's car and sell it or trade it in for something more suitable for the family...and I've been trying to think of a way to get rid of the car payment. That extra amount every month will be so relieving to put in our savings account and then towards our bills. We will be able to get out of debt that much quicker. Whatever we get for the car, assuming it's totaled (which is a pretty good assumption), will pay it off and hopefully we'll have enough to buy another used reliable car out right so we won't have any car payment. If not, It'll go in a savings account and we'll save up for one and deal with using one car. I don't know how, but I don't need to know how right now. All I know is that I think this is a very mysterious way of God helping us out of a jam.
I'm actually thankful for it. Wake up call and a turn of events all in one.
I'm an odd duck, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
And another thought occurred to me. Had I not miscarried when I did, this could of caused me to lose the baby anyways and that would of been a huge burden on Eric's shoulders.
It was an accident. It had nothing to do with his driving, as much as I'd like to say it wouldn't of happened with me driving, I can't say that with a clear conscience. Because it was just one of those freak things that happen sometimes. He wasn't driving fast, he wasn't even driving the speed limit. It wasn't raining and it's not like it rained ALOT. Just enough to wet the road. We hadn't had any warning slips. It just started and happened in seconds.
But he still feels guilty. He feels like it's his fault. And it is a huge wake up call, to feel your humanity and to realize how quickly without any way of controlling it you can wake up in a tragedy. You can lose something that means everything to you.
But I know God was watching out for us. It's never clearer than in those moments.
Let's just say that life comes at you fast. Curveballs and all that music. One minute you're talking about a phone conversation you just had about your Dad and the next you're tumbling uncontrollably down a ravine. And then you can't move your arm and your child starts crying from the back seat.
Too fast to even react.
But I didn't panic. For some reason I don't panic. I am really good at bad situations, I don't know why. I am usually very calm and collected, I think straight. I guess the term would be grace under pressure. :)
When I saw everyone was ok, I breathed in and I breathed out and then took the next step.
And oddly, I'm alright with it. It was a crappy draw, but I really believe that it's going to be something really positive for us. I know that might sound weird, but I've been stressing out this whole year ever since the gallbladder incident about bills. I do not like barely scraping by. I do not like not having a plan b.
Our plan has been to pay off Eric's car and sell it or trade it in for something more suitable for the family...and I've been trying to think of a way to get rid of the car payment. That extra amount every month will be so relieving to put in our savings account and then towards our bills. We will be able to get out of debt that much quicker. Whatever we get for the car, assuming it's totaled (which is a pretty good assumption), will pay it off and hopefully we'll have enough to buy another used reliable car out right so we won't have any car payment. If not, It'll go in a savings account and we'll save up for one and deal with using one car. I don't know how, but I don't need to know how right now. All I know is that I think this is a very mysterious way of God helping us out of a jam.
I'm actually thankful for it. Wake up call and a turn of events all in one.
I'm an odd duck, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
And another thought occurred to me. Had I not miscarried when I did, this could of caused me to lose the baby anyways and that would of been a huge burden on Eric's shoulders.
It was an accident. It had nothing to do with his driving, as much as I'd like to say it wouldn't of happened with me driving, I can't say that with a clear conscience. Because it was just one of those freak things that happen sometimes. He wasn't driving fast, he wasn't even driving the speed limit. It wasn't raining and it's not like it rained ALOT. Just enough to wet the road. We hadn't had any warning slips. It just started and happened in seconds.
But he still feels guilty. He feels like it's his fault. And it is a huge wake up call, to feel your humanity and to realize how quickly without any way of controlling it you can wake up in a tragedy. You can lose something that means everything to you.
But I know God was watching out for us. It's never clearer than in those moments.
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