The daily grind
On my way home tonight I started to think, like I do very often driving back home and the sun was going down...One of these days. That phrase comes to mind alot. I could end that sentence in alot of beautiful ways, with tons of exciting adventures, lovely visions and the greatest stories my imagination could dream up! I mean, it could end with anything...couldn't it?
Of course I only think of "positive" endings to this sentence as it is apart of my day dreaming. I don't allow negative-ism in my day dreaming, what would be the point of that? I believe that would be what they call wallowing and NOT day dreaming.
That would be more like day nightmaring. lol
Ok. So I've strayed off thought.
One of these days... sometimes I end it with. I'll have my own house.
One of these days... and sometimes it ends with...things won't be such a struggle. And that gives me hope just thinking it. All the hard work I do now will someday pay off. I'll get the rewards of my toil. Isn't that a promise?
I know God promises us. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but I did imagine it a tad on the easier...smoother...less sharp and pointy. More like childproof scissors, type of life. Happiness is found in the little things. It's found in slowing down your mind and just observing life around you. Like watching Ryley play. That's one of my greatest joys. Him learning new things, new sayings, becoming a little bit smarter each day, learning how to out-smart me. Or taking him for a walk and watering all the plants, throwing rocks in the stream, swimming. That's why patience is such a virtue, because if you learn to just slow down and relax everything is more enjoyable.
So, needless to say, I like to day dream on occassion. I like to think about what my future will hold if I keep working hard and believing in the future and trying my best to just enjoy what I have now. And I do enjoy it, the in betweens. (There are parts that I do not enjoy, but I deal with them so I can get back to the other parts). ;)
I think that is why I love taking pictures. It's a way of holding onto the now because time is ever moving. I can hold onto Ryley in each moment, so in the next moment I can remember the last and enjoy it years to come. I don't have the best of memory, so photos give me a key to the past. I like that. I like knowing I can never lose the past. I won't wake up one day and not remember half of his childhood like I did mine.
Is everyone like that? I wonder. Not being able to remember most of their life? Just pieces. I think I remember mostly good things. And I like that, too. Or maybe it's just the way my memory works, like tabs. lol That makes me think of a theory about de ja vu. Forgotten pieces of your life being triggered, or memories of when you were a baby so small you wouldn't know they were memories. But that's another story for another time.
One of these days... In my own home, I'll have kids running around learning things...and I'll have all this time to sit and teach them and play and not have to always run off to work. That's my ultimate goal in life.
But until then, I have dreams and ambitions. I have a dream of taking college courses on photography, maybe even general courses. I've applied for a FAFSA and hope to get some good results. I want to fulfill myself so I don't have to rely on my child to fulfill me, because it's not his job to make me feel good about myself. That's my job. That's my job to find my bliss, besides him lol... To do something that makes me feel like I've done the best with what God gave me. I want to have my own business. I love design and I love photography. I've even considered taking graphic design. ;) Just some thinking I've been doing lately.
Of course I only think of "positive" endings to this sentence as it is apart of my day dreaming. I don't allow negative-ism in my day dreaming, what would be the point of that? I believe that would be what they call wallowing and NOT day dreaming.
That would be more like day nightmaring. lol
Ok. So I've strayed off thought.
One of these days... sometimes I end it with. I'll have my own house.
One of these days... and sometimes it ends with...things won't be such a struggle. And that gives me hope just thinking it. All the hard work I do now will someday pay off. I'll get the rewards of my toil. Isn't that a promise?
I know God promises us. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but I did imagine it a tad on the easier...smoother...less sharp and pointy. More like childproof scissors, type of life. Happiness is found in the little things. It's found in slowing down your mind and just observing life around you. Like watching Ryley play. That's one of my greatest joys. Him learning new things, new sayings, becoming a little bit smarter each day, learning how to out-smart me. Or taking him for a walk and watering all the plants, throwing rocks in the stream, swimming. That's why patience is such a virtue, because if you learn to just slow down and relax everything is more enjoyable.
So, needless to say, I like to day dream on occassion. I like to think about what my future will hold if I keep working hard and believing in the future and trying my best to just enjoy what I have now. And I do enjoy it, the in betweens. (There are parts that I do not enjoy, but I deal with them so I can get back to the other parts). ;)
I think that is why I love taking pictures. It's a way of holding onto the now because time is ever moving. I can hold onto Ryley in each moment, so in the next moment I can remember the last and enjoy it years to come. I don't have the best of memory, so photos give me a key to the past. I like that. I like knowing I can never lose the past. I won't wake up one day and not remember half of his childhood like I did mine.
Is everyone like that? I wonder. Not being able to remember most of their life? Just pieces. I think I remember mostly good things. And I like that, too. Or maybe it's just the way my memory works, like tabs. lol That makes me think of a theory about de ja vu. Forgotten pieces of your life being triggered, or memories of when you were a baby so small you wouldn't know they were memories. But that's another story for another time.
One of these days... In my own home, I'll have kids running around learning things...and I'll have all this time to sit and teach them and play and not have to always run off to work. That's my ultimate goal in life.
But until then, I have dreams and ambitions. I have a dream of taking college courses on photography, maybe even general courses. I've applied for a FAFSA and hope to get some good results. I want to fulfill myself so I don't have to rely on my child to fulfill me, because it's not his job to make me feel good about myself. That's my job. That's my job to find my bliss, besides him lol... To do something that makes me feel like I've done the best with what God gave me. I want to have my own business. I love design and I love photography. I've even considered taking graphic design. ;) Just some thinking I've been doing lately.
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