I couldn't imagine
I'm impatient by nature, so when I decide to do something there is No waiting for it to happen! So at this point I've only been trying to get pregnant for a little over a month, so I cannot imagine what it must be like waiting years to get pregnant. Oh, I know it's horrible for women. Because having a baby for women is like fulfilling some inner purpose that you can't explain. And for most women it's this longing need, that can't really be explained except that I guess it's something God gave us. (Or some of us).
I suppose it says something about the readiness, also. Like the hurdle isn't so much a hurdle when it's something you've been looking forward to. Although God doesn't always work that way, most of the time when things happen in life you aren't ready for them, but the other details have a way of working when you make decisions that make having a choice possible. You know, things have a way of becoming a domino effect. You make one bad decision it has a way of turning into several bad waves in a row. That's why it is SO important to make those few "foundational" decisions correctly. Which...I did not.
So, I'm happy we've made it through the first, second, and third round of waves. And with the grace of God and alot of hard work we will continue to survive.
Not that I would regret my child, I just regret that I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy. It was a rather miserable time of my life, which is unfortunate not just for me but also Ryley. I hate thinking that he might of even got the impression once that he wasn't wanted. But you know, it was a hard transition for me. And a hard year of marriage. I didn't feel like I had alot to look forward to.
Just goes to show that given time and an opportunity God can turn something doomed to failure into something good.
Anyway, heading onto month # 2 and I am starting to just let myself be reminded that now it's in God's hands and whenever it's time, it'll be time.
I suppose it says something about the readiness, also. Like the hurdle isn't so much a hurdle when it's something you've been looking forward to. Although God doesn't always work that way, most of the time when things happen in life you aren't ready for them, but the other details have a way of working when you make decisions that make having a choice possible. You know, things have a way of becoming a domino effect. You make one bad decision it has a way of turning into several bad waves in a row. That's why it is SO important to make those few "foundational" decisions correctly. Which...I did not.
So, I'm happy we've made it through the first, second, and third round of waves. And with the grace of God and alot of hard work we will continue to survive.
Not that I would regret my child, I just regret that I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy. It was a rather miserable time of my life, which is unfortunate not just for me but also Ryley. I hate thinking that he might of even got the impression once that he wasn't wanted. But you know, it was a hard transition for me. And a hard year of marriage. I didn't feel like I had alot to look forward to.
Just goes to show that given time and an opportunity God can turn something doomed to failure into something good.
Anyway, heading onto month # 2 and I am starting to just let myself be reminded that now it's in God's hands and whenever it's time, it'll be time.
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